Big City, Small Observations from Las Vegas

Two of my friends and I went to Las Vegas last week for a little girls weekend. I may be the only thirty something women who has never been but I feel much more educated as a result of this trip. I never knew what the big lure was...but I get it now and here are just a few things of what I learned:

• It is a male cheater's paradise. We went to a few clubs only to see many groups of married men getting bottle service and attracting the young ladies with their money and alcohol.


• A or B cups don't cut it in Vegas. If you don't have a C cup or more, you are a novice Vegas player.


• The pool scene looks like it is out of a scene from a 80's spring break movie.


• Never have I felt more brunette and flat in my life...fake blondes and fake boobs everywhere.


• It may be the number one C list celeb spot ever. Our sightings include: Diet Diva (for those of you who watch cable access channels in NY, you know who this is); Carrot Top (perhaps the scariest human being I have ever seen); and this year's Project Runway midget I mean winner Christian Siriano.


• Vegas is to a white trash family as the Hamptons are to an UES New Yorker.


• This is not a spot for a family vacation and the folks that bring their kids to Vegas are really setting them up to be low life sleezes.

I learned much much more but you know the saying, What happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas.

When did Bloomingdales become a Park?

I went shopping at Bloomingdales with a couple of friends yesterday (hello ladies) and we couldn't help but observe the Bloomingdales culture on a Sunday afternoon. Frankly, I don't even know where to begin. I believe this may call for bullets:

• Animals: It is a universally known NY fact that women love to bring their little pooches with them wherever they go...I usually find these women to be a tad annoying (not because of their dogs but because they usually all have some sort of air about them). But at Bloomies yesterday, not only did we witness dogs roaming around on a leash instead of in a cute little carry bag, but these doggies weren't even little. I'm talking Golden Retrievers, German Shepherds...I mean come on. I have enough problems throwing down $400 dollars for a dress but I really don't need a coat of dog hair covering it.


• Eating: One of my friends swears by the frozen yogurt at Forty Carrots on the 7th floor, so while a few of us tried on unmentionables, the other ladies were upstairs buying $5.00 fro yo's. Strangely, the frozen yogurt area is right off of the bedding area...after my lingerie purchases, I headed upstairs to see people lounging on the beds (including my friends and soon to be me.) Bizarro scene. It really could have been the Great Lawn in Central Park on a spring day.


• Dating: My friend T told me her cousin goes to Bloomingdales to pick up women. One could say it's brilliant. A place filled with women, all on the hunt, decked out in their fancy threads and caked on faces...but the reality is, besides T's cousin being a total wanker, is that if a women spots a guy in Bloomingdales, she knows he is there with his wife, girlfriend or mistress so she rather not waste her time eyeing the guy when she can be checking out fabulous 3 inch heels. T's cousin has yet to score a date from the store but he gets an A for trying.

Ballsy New York guys

I've always been amazed by guys in New York and how they have no problem just picking up a girl anywhere. It can be on the subway, at the gym, in the supermarket...it's all fair game if they are interested. I never was like that. In my single days, I might see the same guy for a year at the gym--perhaps taking notice of what days he is there and try and time my workouts accordingly, but I would never say a word, out of fear of rejection (lame, I know, but I was never good at the pick up thing).

Which brings me to my point. Walking to work about a month ago, a guy around my age stopped me to ask me where I was going in such a rush (hi dumb ass, its 9 am on a Tuesday, where do you think I'm going). I said work, he said where, I said the West Village and I started to walk away while he started to ask if I wanted to grab a coffee sometime. It was cold and my gloves were covering my most obvious sign that I am not available so I said, "I'm engaged" and left. Then today, walking the same route, I see this guy. He stops and asks where I am going (he apparently has dementia as well as not being too bright), I again say work and he says, "Well you look absolutely amazing today." All I could think, besides being flattered, was what is the point in wasting your time/breath/effort/pride and all of that on a women who is engaged?